


the one

by robbosugden



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alternate universe - filmer Robert x actor aaron, Angst, Confused Aaron, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Slow Burn, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, cocky Robert, family and friends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-02-24 02:19:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13203678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robbosugden/pseuds/robbosugden
Summary: With Robert having endless, failed relationships, he’s ready to settle down. Especially now he’s nearly 40. He doesn’t think it’ll happen, but will meeting Aaron change everything?





	1. Chapter 1

**Chrissie**

When Robert’s girlfriend walks out on him, he feels humiliated but not necessarily heartbroken. Chrissie wasn’t, after all, The One. To be precise, she was number eighty-five.

Chrissie had it all, the wealth and the looks. She was strong, ridiculously independent, but Robert found she loved to rely on him easily. Fell for him pretty quickly.

It’s just a shame Robert never felt it back. Often flirting with her sister, even her father. Couldn’t seem to help himself, he loved the attention and he was never short of it.

Robert was one for digging his own grave, seemed to think he could talk his way out of anything. This time, none of that would have been enough.

Chrissie had seen it with her own two eyes. Robert’s hands on her sisters tiny waist, face near her cheek as he whispered flirtatiously in her ear.

He said it was harmless, that Chrissie was over reacting. He shouldn’t have said that, Chrissie’s arm coming up to slap him across the face.

Robert took it, seemed to take anything that came his way. Knew he deserved it most of the time. She seethed and prodded at his chest with her sharp, varnished nails telling him how much she hated him. That he had ruined everything.

Robert didn’t fight for her, though. Didn’t see the point, he didn’t see them headed anywhere serious and so he let her go.

That night he sat alone in his apartment. A whiskey in hand and lights low. Once again, he was alone.

He couldn’t help but feel sorry for himself.

//

**Vanessa**

Robert’s next mistake is telling his best friend, Vanessa.

She used to roll her eyes at him. Take him under her wing and drink with him until he’d stopped feeling sorry for himself. Stayed up late and let him fall asleep with his head on her lap like a little child.

Now she just laughs, can’t help but wind him up about all his misfortunes.

“Are you ever going to learn?” She sits next to him on her sofa, legs up against her chest and warm mug of coffee in her hand.

He copies her movements, his lanky legs coming up in-front of him, as if to protect himself from the onslaught of Vanessa’s annoyingly, always right advice. “It was nothing serious, I didn’t really see the problem. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“You never do,” she smiled softly. “But look at you. Nearly 40 and still messing around with people’s feelings.”

He kicks out at her leg with his foot, “do you have to remind me about how old I am?” He groans, his eyes screwing shut and his head dropping back. “I’m such an idiot.”

“You said it,” Vanessa moves her legs so she can sit crossed legged, placing her mug down on the coffee table. She leans forward so she can place her hands on Robert’s knees, “I’ve got an idea.”

“Go on then, cause I’ve run out of ‘em.”

“Well, you go through these people more often than I change my underwear,” Robert pulls a disgusted face and Vanessa laughs, “I think you should try and find The One before you reach a neat one hundred.”

Robert just scoffs, turns to sit properly, “you’re normally good at advice, but I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

Vanessa pouts a little, pulls Robert’s arm around her shoulder and rests her head against his chest. “Well I’m out of ideas,” she turns to look up at him, a cheeky grin on her face. “Unless...”

“What?”

“Me and you could give it a go,” she bursts out laughing and Robert just pokes her in her side.

“Not funny. Plus, I don’t think Charity would be too happy about that, do you?”

Vanessa looks over at the photo of her and Charity on their first Christmas officially together on the fire place and tries to hide her smile from Robert, “I guess not.” She sticks on the tv, Robert taking the remote from her immediately and choosing what they watch, can’t sit through another episode of Paul O’Grady’s: For the Love of Dogs. “I think you should just go with what I said,” she shrugs. “You get to still have some fun trying to find your Mr or Mrs Right.”

He bit the inside of his cheek, his legs coming over to rest on the top of her coffee table and he settled for an episode of Top Gear. He waited for the groan of disapproval from his best friend and didn’t have to wait long, a smirk lifting on his face before answering her, “we’ll see.”

The more he thought about it, the more he couldn’t help but contemplate it.

//

**Jimmy**

It was never going to be a good idea, not least because everything else in Robert’s life was in complete chaos.

Robert was known for being selfish, caring about himself more than most. Putting himself first.

But his family, his family and friends knew that wasn’t the case.

Jimmy was his closest work friend, Robert found him really annoying at first. Took him ages to warm to him, but Robert couldn’t help but find himself getting used to him. Found himself laughing at Jimmy, going out for a few drinks with him. They shared their worries and problems in life.

Jimmy’s recent problem was his split from his wife, Nicola. Robert couldn’t understand why Jimmy chose Robert to talk too about these things. It was probably because nobody else would listen. Robert took pity on him at first, now he had no right to laugh when his own life was a mess.

Jimmy was drunk, had spent most of the night crying on Robert’s shoulder. “I know she’s a nightmare Rob, but she’s my nightmare.” Jimmy whined.

And she was a nightmare. She was Robert’s boss. Robert admired how long Jimmy actually put up with her.

He couldn’t say that to him, though. Instead sighed, patted Jimmy on his back. “You’ll work through it. You always do.”

Jimmy looked up at him, his eyes red and tear drops wetting his t-shirt. “Not now, she said it to my face.” Jimmy sobbed and Robert bit his tongue, he saw the way Nicola ended things. She’d done it in front of all his colleagues, showed him up and Robert’s heart couldn’t help but sink for him.

“You’ve got a family together,” Robert said softly. “She just needs time to come round.”

“My babies,” Jimmy necked the rest of his whiskey. “She won’t even let me see them.”

Robert’s jaw tensed, “you’re their father. She can’t stop you from seeing them.”

Jimmy nodded sadly, “I need to go see her.”

He got up to stand, Robert pulling him back down by his arm. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, do you?” Robert put his jacket on, “come on, crash at mine tonight and then see her tomorrow, yeah?”

Jimmy stumbled to his feet, holding onto Robert’s arm. “Have you got whiskey?”

Robert couldn’t help but smile, “yes, move.” He took Jimmy’s weight, lifting a arm around his shoulder, and moaned at the stench of alcohol on him.

The only thing Jimmy would be having tonight was a pint of water and sleep.

//

**Vic**

His baby sister (she’s nowhere near being a baby, but Robert can’t help but call her that) Vic has always been his main priority.

No matter how pathetic his love life his, the pain his sister is going through right now can’t and would never compare.

She lost her best friend, her boyfriends sister, Holly at the beginning of the year and things are still tough.

On the nights Vic’s needed space, or Adam’s needed space she’s come round to Robert’s. Tonight is one of those nights.

Robert orders them takeaway, it hasn’t gone unnoticed how much weight his sister has lost. He hates to see her like this, she’s grieved before, but she’s older now and she’s feeling it in a way she didn’t then. She’s more aware now of everything, she doesn’t have her brothers trying to tell her everything will be ok, she knows now that isn’t true.

She fusses with the food on her plate, Robert watching her closely. He takes a mouthful of his sweet and sour and nods down at her food, “you gonna eat some of that.”

“I’m not hungry,” she sighs. Placing the fork down and pushing the plate away from her and folding her arms across her chest.

“You need to eat,” Robert says. “I’m worried about you, Vic.”

“I am eating,” she bites at her bottom lip. “You don’t have to worry, I’m fine.”

Robert pushes his plate away, mirroring his sisters earlier actions. “This can’t go on.”

Vic looks up at him, her eyes watering. “I’m trying.”

Robert closes his eyes, regrets snapping at her and he gets up to sit at the chair closer to her. “I know. I’m sorry.” He squeezes her shoulder and runs over it, “tell me what I can do to help.”

She laughs bitterly, so unlike her and Robert hates the way she’s becoming unrecognisable. “Bring back my best friend. Bring back my boyfriend.”

Robert’s eyes drop to the floor, frustrates him that he can’t give her what she wants. Needs.

“Holly will always be with you,” Robert says all cliche, but he hopes she believes him. “She will always be in your heart, in all your memories.” He takes her hand in his, she’s freezing and he worries she’s coming down with something, he swallows the worry away, “you and Adam need to stick together, you can’t keep pushing each other away. You’re both hurting.”

Vic’s tears fall down her pale face and she nods, “I want that, I do. He’s just so stubborn sometimes.”

“What, and you aren’t?” Robert smiles fondly at her and her lips rise into a tired smile, her hand pulling away from his touch to hit him on his arm. “Why don’t you go and phone him,” Robert looks at the now cold food, “and then maybe I can rewarm this and we can watch one of your favourites.”

She tucks her hair behind her ears and nods, “yeah, I’d like that.”

She leans in to give Robert a hug, he stands to hold her tighter and she pulls away after a long moment, will start crying if she stays in his arms any longer. She diverts her eyes towards the bathroom and Robert let’s her go.

Robert heads into the kitchen, places one of the plates into the microwave. He keeps himself busy, wants to give his sister as much privacy as possible.

With food warmed, he heads back into the living area and finds the film he’s looking for and sets it up ready for Vic’s return.

When she comes back, Robert can tell she’s been crying but her face doesn’t seem as worn out now. Looks like she’s let a load off her chest.

“Better?” Robert looks up at her, hopeful.

“A bit, yeah.” She sits next to Robert, drags her palms across her jeans before placing the plate on her lap. She takes a mouthful of rice and Robert can’t help but let out a sigh of relief. “We are going to meet up tomorrow,” she says after swallowing her food.

“That’s good,” he presses play on the remote and notices the way Vic nudges closer to him with a grateful smile.

She knows what film it is straight away, “Mamma Mia.”

“I can’t believe I’ve got to sit through Pierce Brosnan’s ‘singing.’” Robert sticks his fork into a chip, “my ears are bleeding already.”

It’s quiet and doesn’t last for long, but Vic laughs genuinely for the first time in so long and Robert kisses the side of her forehead before sitting back and watching the film.

It’s not long before Vic’s fallen asleep, her head resting on Robert’s arm.

Robert doesn’t move, let’s her sleep. Can take a good guess that it’s probably the best sleep she’s had in months.

//

**Pearl**

With everything that’s going on, he’s found it hard to go around to his neighbours for his daily chat over a (not so nice) cup of tea.

Pearl is his elderly neighbour, the oldest one in the building but Robert moved her in here. Her old home getting knocked down because of the council wanting to do something new.

Vanessa told him about her, and there was no way he’d see somebody out on the streets. So he sorted her out, made sure she was settled and the rest was history.

Robert didn’t like to say it, but he had kind of grown fond of her quickly. He enjoyed seeing her, sharing stuff with her he felt comfortable opening up about.

He made the time to see her tonight, would never tell her that he had missed her but when Pearl came to the door with a bright smile and a tight hug, Robert was sure he was missed, too.

“You haven’t forgot about me, then?” Pearl moves aside to let him in.

“As if I could. You ok?”

Robert sat down in his usual place, Pearl heading into the kitchen to put on the kettle.

She huffed and puffed, “not really.”

Robert couldn’t deal with anything else right now, he panicked that it was something serious. He got up and made his way to the kitchen, resting his body against the door frame. “What’s wrong?”

She turned to him, rolling her eyes. “Eric,” she replied as if it was obvious.

Robert never actually met this ‘Eric,’ but Pearl loved to have a good moan about him.

“What’s he done now?” Robert asked, relaxing back into his seat after realising it was nothing too serious.

“Promised me we would go to bingo,” Pearl placed Robert’s tea in front of him and sat. “I got dressed ready to go and then he phoned me to say something had come up!”

“Maybe it was something serious,” Robert shrugged.

“He does it all the time,” she huffed. “I’m getting tired of it, we aren’t spring chickens, ya know.”

Robert smirked behind his mug. “Your love life sounds worse than mine.”

Her head snapped up at him, “what’s happened?”

“Chrissie ended it,” Robert cleared his throat. “Doesn’t matter, it wasn’t anything serious.”

“Silly woman,” Pearl scorned. “You are too good for her anyway.”

Robert knew that wasn’t true and Pearl didn’t even know Chrissie to make that judgment, but he just smiled at her, “thanks.”

She shook her head, “it’s about time you settled down.” She looked around her apartment, “these places are too big for just one person.”

He had to agree, and he couldn’t help but think that’s why he hated being single. He had plenty of people around him, but he had nobody to go home to after a long day at work and that’s what he craved most.

“Hopefully I’ll find someone soon,” Robert sipped at his cooling tea (trying to hide his disgust.)

She patted his knee, “I hope so love.”

He looked at Pearl. She deserved more than this. She deserved to be in a loving home with a partner. She didn’t deserve to still be running around someone who dropped her so easily.

Robert worried that he saw a bit of himself in her.

Alone. Annoyed at the world.

He really hoped he found The One soon.

//

**Nicola**

Even on good days Robert wasn’t in the mood for Nicola. Unfortunately, today wasn’t a good day.

He had been in work less than ten minutes, hadn’t even had chance to finish his americano and take his coat off, before he heard her voice like nails down a chalkboard.

“Robert!” She ran up to him, her high heels clicking across the floor. “Will you get a move on?”

He rolled his eyes before turning to her, a tight smile spread across his face. “Sorry Nicola, what’s the problem?”

“We’ve got four screaming children who aren’t behaving and I need a little help,” she huffed. “Remind me again why I thought this commercial was a good idea?”

He took a final sip of his coffee before binning the cup. “You tell me, it’s been more hassle than it’s worth.”

“A little bit of support wouldn’t go a miss,” she sighed and pulled Robert along with her. “Let’s see if your ugly mug will scare them enough to stay quiet for at least two minutes.”

“Ugly?” He said affronted. “Your words hurt, Nicola.”

“Cry me a river,” she waved him away dismissively.

When he got to where the kids were, Robert decided the best way to stop them from being unruly was to just join them. He drew and coloured in with them, humouring them.

Nicola hated it and that’s why Robert loved every second.

Each kid was in a different commercial and Nicola had the unfortunate job of producing all of them. She wouldn’t accept Robert’s help though, no matter how close she was to pulling her hair out.

The kids had calmed down, Robert promising them sweets after. He got his camera kit ready and that’s when Jimmy walked in.

“Hello, how is she?” Jimmy asked, nodding over to a flustered Nicola.

“As bossy and as stressful as ever,” Robert sighed. “How did your chat go anyway?”

Jimmy shoved his hands into his coat pockets. “She said she needed time alone. To think,” he looked over at her. “I miss her, Robert.”

“And I’m sure she misses you too, mate.” Robert tapped his arm. “She won’t be able to stay away for much longer,” Robert winked at him. “Look at you.”

Jimmy pretended not to find Robert funny, turning his face away from him and shaking his head. “Sometimes I don’t know wether I want to hug you, or punch you.”

“I always want to punch you,” Robert smirked.

They both laughed and that’s when Nicola acknowledged her husband. “Jimmy King, what do you want!?”

Robert gave Jimmy a ‘good luck mate’ look before he headed over to her.

“I still work here,” Jimmy said,sulking in that way he did when Nicola was on the warpath.

Robert counted his lucky stars. He might have been alone, but at least he didn’t have to deal with that.

//

The commercials went along as good as possible, each one of them taking nearly an hour each.

Robert was tired, they all were. The kids never forget a thing promised to them though, so Robert found himself rushing off to the canteen to get a few packs of sweets from the worn out vending machine.

“Don’t tell your parents,” Robert warned playfully.

They giggled and Jimmy and Nicola went out with them to wait for their parents.

Robert packed up his cameras and laptop. He was in desperate need of coffee, still not happy with the fact he couldn’t finish the one from this morning.

He picked up his stuff, not paying much attention to anything until he bumped into something.

Someone.

“Shit. Sorry,” Robert picked his bag up. “I’m in a world of my-“

Robert stopped, stunned. Felt like his breath had been taken away from him. He quickly cleared his throat and composed himself as much as he could. “Sorry,” he said again.

“Not a problem mate,” the guy smiled slightly. “I’m looking for Nicola King? I’m filming with her today.”

“Oh,” Robert couldn’t stop staring at him. He was dressed in all black and...and he was beautiful.

Robert hated using that word, especially for a bloke. But he couldn’t help it, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of him.

“What’s your name?” Robert asked, a little choked.

“Aaron. Aaron Dingle,” he answered. He pulled his black jumper down over his knuckles. Robert could tell he was nervous. It was quite endearing.

Robert seemed to take confidence from it, stood up taller. “Come with me”.

Robert went outside to where Nicola and Jimmy were. They were saying their final goodbyes to one of the little boys parents.

“Nic,” Robert shouted over. “Aaron Dingle is here?”

“Ahh,” she clapped her hands together. Seemed happy to be working with someone who wasn’t under the age of eight. She handed out her hand and Aaron shook it. “Thank you Robert, you can go now.”

Robert stalled, he was eager to leave before, but now? Now he’d find any reason to stay.

“Won’t you need someone to film-“

“No,” Nicola said annoyingly. “We are doing the screen test tomorrow. “I just wanted Aaron here to get a feel for things.”

“Right,” Robert half nodded. He looked back at Aaron. He had the softest, blue eyes and Robert really wanted to stay. However, he knew it would look weird and so he decided it was best to just go along with it. After all, he would be seeing Aaron tomorrow. “I will see you all tomorrow then.”

Jimmy smiled and patted his arm, Nicola grunted her departure and Aaron offered him a smile. “See you tomorrow, Robert.”

Robert walked to his car, once he was inside he took a deep breath.

Robert didn’t know a thing about Aaron Dingle. But his insides were going crazy.

He was going to make sure he knew a lot more by the end of tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

**Robert**

He knows why he does it, he knows it won’t make a difference and he knows he’ll regret it.

It doesn’t stop him though, he goes where he knows he’ll find what he’s looking for.

Someone who’ll scratch the itch.

This isn’t him going out looking for The One, this is just another meaningless number.

He doesn’t have to wait long. He finds what he’s looking for.  A dark-haired guy with stubbled cheeks and blue eyes. He doesn’t set his heart on fire the way Aaron did, he doesn’t get that instant attraction. He doesn’t feel the want and urge to get to know him. He just wants to use him.

And that’s what he does. He wakes with a hangover and regret, a warm body next to his and a heavy arm across his chest. He moves slowly, can’t face his newest one-night stand and he showers. He washes away as many sins as possible.

He leaves the guy a note and a spare key to get out.

How did his life get so messy?

//

**Jimmy**

When he gets to work, he meets Jimmy in the canteen. A coffee and bacon sandwich waiting for him. He sits opposite him and Jimmy pulls an off-putting face, “you look how I feel.”

“Hi to you, too.” Robert takes a sip of his coffee. He looks down at the table, a CD in Jimmy’s hand. “What’s that?”

“CD of Nicola’s favourite songs. Songs from our wedding day,” he says hopeful. “I’ve got to make her see we belong together, Robert.”

“I’m sure that’ll work,” Robert takes a bite out of sandwich. “You’re too good for her mate.”

Jimmy raises his eyebrows, hates when his wife is put down. It never stops Robert, though. He can’t seem to help himself. Funny that.

“She’s the mother to my children. I love her, and I know she loves me.”

“Has she let you see the kids?”

“Over face time, yeah. Said she still needs time to think.” Jimmy sighs, sloughing back in his chair.

Robert shakes his head, annoyed on his behalf. Nicola had ended things because she had gotten it into her head that Jimmy and one of the actresses from a previous commercial were a little too close. That Jimmy was looking at her like ‘a piece of fresh meat’. She had scolded him in front of his colleagues, left him to apologise to everyone. The innocent party in all of this had even lost her contract, Nicola didn’t want her back and whatever Nicola wanted, Nicola got.

“I hope it works,” Robert wiped the corners of his mouth with a napkin. “we better go, I don’t fancy your wife moaning in my ear first thing.”

They stood, and Jimmy gave Robert a shove, “I’ll tell her you said that.”

Robert’s eyes widened in fake panic and Jimmy laughed, giving Robert, another push out of the door and up the stairs.

“How are you anyway? How’s Vic?” Jimmy asked as they made their way in to the staff room.

Robert wouldn’t share his lame love life (or lack of) to him, instead he decided to answer the question to his main concern. “Vic’s still not coping. I wish I could take the pain away, I feel so helpless.”

Jimmy hung up his coat next to Robert’s and shoved his hands into his jean pockets. “You’ve just got to be there for her as much as you can. Her grieving is natural Robert, its not your fault.”

Robert smiled warmly, “you aren’t just a pretty face.”

Jimmy laughed at his best mate before shaking his head at him like he was a child. “Behave,” he pointed at him.

Robert had never really done that. He wasn’t going to start now.

//

**Nicola**

Robert was surprised to be greeted with a smile from Nicola, all be it a little fake.

He set up his equipment, “why are you so happy today?”

She frowned, “I’m always happy!”

“Of course, you are” he smirked. “Yesterday was a perfect example of that.”

She rolled her eyes at him, “I’ve just got a lot going on right now.”

Haven’t we all?

“You mean you and Jimmy?”

“What’s he been saying to you?” She asked with concern.

“A lot. He’s my best friend, Nic.” He sat on the edge of his table, arms folded. “You know he did nothing wrong, this is ridiculous.”

She nipped her bottom lip with her teeth. She lifted her head up, tried to look taller and not effected by Robert’s words. “You know I love my Jimmy.”

He hung his arms out by his side, “that’s the point I’m trying to make!”

“I’m not taking love advice from you, Robert.”

“Fine,” he shrugged. He cleared his throat, tried to sound as uninterested as he could when he asked, “how did that guy get on yesterday? Aidan was it?”

“Who?” she frowned. Then realisation hit her, “you mean Aaron? Yeah, he was good, really hit it off with actress he’s doing the advert with.” She brought her clipboard close to her chest. “I think he’s going to be a great addition to the team.”

For once, Robert agreed with her.

“Who’s he doing the commercial with again?”

“Carly Hope. The pretty, tall one?”

Robert’s lips quipped into a small smirk, he wouldn’t be able to blame Aaron if he did have the hots for her, she was gorgeous. Although he hoped there was nothing in it, didn’t think he’d be able to sit back and watch them close when he was wishing it was him. “I know the one. Always gives me the eye when we walk past each other.”

Nicola pulled a disgusted face. “How is Jimmy your friend?”

“Because if you can’t beat them, you join them. Isn’t that what they say?” He joked with a smirk.

She rolled her eyes. “OK, enough gossiping. Get to work.”

Robert pouted, she was no fun. He did notice the wavering smile on her face as she walked away, though.

Maybe today wasn’t going to be too bad.

//

**Aaron**

Aaron’s here, his hands around a disposable cup of coffee. It’s time for a screen run, Carly walking in with only eyes for Aaron it seems. She pulls him in for a tight hug, Aaron a little taken a back, but accepts it, places one of his arms around her shoulders loosely.

Robert’s watching all this through his camera lens, should probably stop because it sounds ridiculously creepy and if anybody caught him he wouldn’t be able to come up with a reason as to why he’s doing such things.

The commercial is for the newest cereal, the brand is local, and Nicola jumped at the chance of working with them. Aaron and Carly were playing a married couple, Robert hated to admit it, but they suited. Robert understood what Nicola meant now, seeing it with his own two eyes.

That kind of set in stone that maybe he was barking up the wrong tree. He had to get over this initial attraction and focus on finding someone he could properly settle for.

It sounded easier said than done. But Robert didn’t’ have anything to lose, he didn’t even know Aaron so there was no real reason he couldn’t divert his attention away from him. Robert would just avoid the rejection and head out on the town after work. Start over, erase Aaron and look for someone who didn’t resemble him in the slightest.

Then Aaron was turning to smile at him, his arm raising to wave at him and Robert’s stomach _dipped_ like he was on a rollercoaster. Aaron had acknowledged Robert first, it shouldn’t have mattered, but it did.

Robert moved away from his camera to wave back. Robert didn’t really do subtle, but he hoped Aaron hadn’t noticed how long he’d been watching him for.

“Are we ready for take one?” Nicola checked with everyone on set, everyone either nodding or giving her the thumbs up.

This time, Robert had to remember not to solely focus the camera on Aaron.

//

With Jimmy away editing and cutting the scenes, Robert wraps up for the day.

It’s like his body comes alive, he knows he’s there before he even turns around. Aaron. Who else?

“Alright,” he said softly. Still a nervousness about him that Robert found adorable.

“Hey,” Robert smiled at him, his teeth flashing it was that wide. “I must say, you’re a good actor. Way too good for commercials, anyway.”

Aaron pulled his jumper down over his knuckles like he had yesterday, Robert wanted to take his hands in his. Tell him there was no need to be nervous around him. “Thanks,” he folded his arms across his chest. “Work has been pretty quiet recently, so I’ll take whatever comes my way.”

“You deserve better, honestly.” It was like Aaron had never heard how good he was, like it was hard to believe.

They headed outside. “Thanks Robert, it means a lot.”

“Don’t mention it,” Robert shrugged. Robert shoved his hands into his jacket, “Fancy coming for a drink?”

Aaron didn’t get chance to answer. A car pulling up, and the person inside beeping the horn and rolling the window down. “Come on, Aaron.”

Aaron rolled his eyes a little, offering Robert an apologetic smile. “Sorry, I can’t.”

“It’s fine. Maybe another time?”

“Maybe,” Aaron sounded unsure.

He got into the car without a second look, leaving Robert confused.

//

**Vanessa**

“Robert, you don’t need me here as your wingman.” Vanessa hooked her arm around Robert’s as they headed into their favourite bar.

“I know that,” Robert laughed. “I just wanted to see you.”

“Why?” They sat down at the stools at the bar. “What have you done now?”

“Nothing,” Robert replied, slightly offended. Robert knows its ridiculous to be telling Vanessa this, but when as that ever stopped him from anything? “I think I like someone.”

She looks up at him, surprised but then she’s smiling like it’s the best thing she’s ever heard. “Oh my god. Who?”

They order their drinks and then Vanessa is right back on his case. “Come on, spill!”

“The new guy from the cereal commercial,” Robert nods his thanks at the barman as he places their drinks down. “But I don’t know anything about him. He seems, I don’t know, worried to show the real him?” Robert shrugs, “I’m probably reading into things, but I invited him out for a drink and then this car is pulling up and all of a sudden Aaron looks worried. Like going for a drink would be the biggest mistake.”

“Maybe he likes you too and he’s just nervous? You’ve only just met him, Robert.”

Robert shakes his head. “I don’t think it’s that. There’s something else.”

Vanessa placed a hand over his arm, giving it a squeeze. “Don’t worry about it. He’s not your concern.” She clicked her glass with Robert’s. “Now come on, let’s make fools out of ourselves as usual.”

Robert suddenly didn’t feel in the mood, but he downed his drink and ordered them another. And another.

They headed off to another bar, Vanessa hanging onto his arm, would fall if she let go.

Robert sat her down and headed to the bar. He should probably take her home, but he wanted to drink until he wasn’t thinking about Aaron.

It wasn’t going to be any use, he was here. Aaron was here. A petite woman speaking in his ear over the music, Aaron looked anything but interested. That made Robert feel somewhat hopeful again.

But then it was squashed sooner than it had arrived. Aaron’s eyes locked with Robert’s for a mere second, before downing his drink and pulling the woman in for a kiss. It looked awkward, their bodies miles apart and Robert was sure that Aaron’s eyes were open through it all.

Robert couldn’t tear his eyes away, Robert could tell it wasn’t something Aaron wanted to do, so why was he? When they parted, the girl was gushing, hooking her arms around Aaron’s neck, clearly oblivious to Aaron’s discomfort.

Robert was close to walking over there, taking Aaron out of the situation, but it was too late. With another look back at Robert, Aaron had taken the girls hand into his and he was walking out of the building.

Vanessa might have been right, he might not have known him, he might not be his concern, but Robert felt an overwhelming need to find out he was OK.

He ran out on to the high street, hoping to still catch them. There was no sign. Robert’s worry remained until he had seen Vanessa home and got back to his place, tossing and turning until he couldn’t fight sleep no longer.

//

**Pearl**

He still wakes up with Aaron on his mind. He’s not normally like this, he doesn’t necessarily care about anyone who isn’t his family or friends. He can’t seem to stop though, he does little chores around the apartment, none of it having the desired effect.

He’s just thankful he’s got a day off, he doesn’t have to see Aaron. He’s not sure what he’d do or say if he saw him today. One thing he can be pretty sure on is that Aaron would tell him to mind his own business.

He pops to the café around the corner and brings back breakfast for him and Pearl.

She greets him with a smile and a fond kiss to his cheek. They sit and watch Jeremy Kyle, neither of them understanding much of it. Pearl shakes her head every now and again, calls Jeremy a ‘smarmy bastard’, but Robert knows she’s got into it. Her eyes only focused on the TV as Jeremy reveals the results of the first lie detector questions.

“I knew it!” Pearl pointed at the TV as it was revealed that the guy had in fact cheated on his wife more than once.

Robert smiled at her, biting into his bagel. He surprisingly felt a bit better, probably because his life wasn’t that bad he had to go on national television to try and sort it out.

“Men are scumbags,” Pearl moans.

Robert raises his eyebrows, “ahem.”

“Obviously not you love,” she replies quickly. “You’re my favourite.”

Robert wasn’t sure why, he was far from perfect. He had cheated, dumped people when it suited him, when he’d grown bored of them and had had what he could out of them. Robert was a pretty shitty person and he suddenly didn’t think he deserved the high accolade Pearl clearly put him on.

“I don’t know. I’ve hurt plenty of people myself.”

“Hey,” she placed her hand over his. “We all make mistakes, Robert. Don’t beat yourself up over stuff that can’t be changed.” She supped her tea. “Is everything OK?”

Robert sat back in his chair, and shrugged. “I’m not sure to be honest.” He messed with the crumbs on his plate from his breakfast. “I think I like someone.”

Pearl beamed, “that’s great! So what’s the problem?”

“I think he’s hiding something,” Robert licked his lips. “Or he’s afraid of something,” Robert sighed, “I’m not sure, I just know there’s something.”

Pearl frowned, “well why don’t you just ask him love?”

Robert looked up at her, it was the most obvious thing to do and it sounded so straight forward, but what right did Robert have to get involved? To voice his concern. They hardly knew each other, Robert could be wrong, seeing things that aren’t even there.

“I don’t know,” he replied simply. “Probably because its none of my business?”

Pearl shook her head. “You never know when someone is crying out for help? You’ll never know if your worries are right if you don’t ask.”

“Maybe,” Robert said unconvinced.

He had a lot to think about.

//

**Vic**

He knows it won’t help much, but he has Vic around. Cooks her favourite for her and he’s happy to see her eat it all, even ask for seconds.

She looks much better today, a little more like herself and it feels good to have his sister here.

“The talk with Adam went well then?” He asks her as they wash up.

She smiles with a nod. “Yeah it did. We’ve decided to go away for a bit. Just the two of us, just a weekend break.”

He can’t help but pull her close, drape his arm over her shoulder and rest his head on hers. “I’m glad, it’ll do you both the world of good.”

“That’s what I said,” Vic squeezed her brothers hand before moving to dry her hands. “How are you anyway?”

Robert wasn’t about to bore her with his mediocre problems, so just shrugged her question off. “Nothing really. Boring for me.”

Vic had that look in her eye where she gets an idea that she thinks is great, but Robert hates. He looked at her sceptically. “What?”

She shook her head as if to say she didn’t know what he meant, but the look on her face said otherwise. “Vic, whatever you’re planning you can stop.”

She laughed a little. “Relax.” She sat down and put the telly on. “The big 4 0 next week, though.”

“Stop reminding me, it sounds awful.”

Vic laughed, pulling Robert down next her. “You’ll have fun once you see what I have in mind.”

Robert didn’t think Vic would have the time to even care about Robert’s birthday amidst everything that was going on with her and Adam. She always surprised him. He kept a straight, warning face. “You aren’t funny.”

Vic pretended to pout. “Just trust me, Robert.”

Robert decided not to argue no more, would let it lye for mow. He was just happy to see his sister smiling, his heart warmed.

//

**Aaron**

Today Aaron didn’t acknowledge Robert, knew he was there when Nicola and Jimmy told him the plans for the day. He didn’t mind, decided he was going to throw caution to the wind and just speak to Aaron after. He was expecting the worst anyway, so why was he pandering over things?

They had another shoot with Carly, Aaron seeming to show confidence around her. Laughing with her and at her at all the right places, Robert couldn’t be hundred percent sure, because let’s face it, he didn’t know much about Aaron, but he was certain it was all an act.

He was a good actor after all.

The shoot came to an end, Aaron trying to leave with Carly, but Robert shouted after him. “Aaron, you got a minute mate?”

Aaron turned on the spot, there was a hint of annoyance in his voice when he answered. “No sorry, me and Carly are going for a drink.”

Robert bit his tongue, looked over at Carly. “You wouldn’t mind if I spoke to Aaron a minute, would you?”

“No, go on.” She grinned at Aaron. “I’ll meet you outside.”

“What is it?” Aaron seemed like a different person today. His mood and persoonia was different. He didn’t have that nervousness about him that Robert had found exciting and intriguing.

He couldn’t put his finger on it. “You tell me,” Robert sat on the edge of his table. “You haven’t been the same since I asked you for that drink.”

“I don’t know what you think you saw in me…but I’m not interested ok mate? So back off.”

Aaron was snarling at him, his finger pointing at Roberts chest accusingly.

“I asked you out for a drink. Just as mates,” Robert clarified, although he knew deep down he had hoped a drink would have turned into something more. “Don’t flatter yourself.”

Aarons mouth turned into a firm line, a fire behind his eyes. “You think I didn’t see the way you’ve been watching me?” Aarons nostrils flared. “You’re always looking at me.”

Robert didn’t seem to care that he had been found out, despite his earlier concerns. “So, what, I fancied you. Doesn’t mean I was intending on trying to fuck you.” Robert made sure Aaron was looking at him when he said, “you didn’t seem to mind. All the sweet smiles and hello’s.”

“That was me being polite!” Aaron snapped. There seemed to be a part of him that didn’t belief his own words, his voice cracking mid-way.

Robert swallowed, “what was all that in the bar the other night? Like you were trying to prove a point.”

“Why would I need to prove anything to you?” Aaron’s anger peeked again.

“Not to me,” Robert looked carefully at Aaron. “Yourself. You wanted to prove something to yourself.”

Aaron laughed, the sound awful to Robert’s ears. “You don’t even know me, mate. Stop the fake concern.”

“It’s not fake,” Robert said firmly. “You can talk to me if you want-“

“I don’t,” he replied as if that was final. “Just stay away from me, alright?”

Robert didn’t reply, his concern bubbling up and he felt ready to burst. Aarons eyes started to water, and Robert stood up, took a step closer but Aaron retreated, looking to the floor.

“Please,” Aaron said weakly. Like the fight in him had gone. He looked up at Robert. “Please,” he said again with more conviction.

Robert reluctantly nodded, “but you know?”

Aaron didn’t say anything back, seemed he couldn’t. He wiped his eyes with his jumper, took a deep breath and plastered a smile on his face before making his way to Carly.

Watching Aaron leave, Robert wasn’t sure he’d be able to leave it there. He wasn’t sure what Aaron was, but he was definitely more than just another number.


	3. Chapter 3

**Aaron – 6 months ago**

Aaron had it all going for him, recently joining the acting agency he had so long tried to be a part of. He’d moved out, got his own place. Had several auditions for different parts in tv shows and commercials. Each one of them getting back to him straight away. He was living the dream.

His agent, Dexter, was good to him. Praised him, looked after him and made him believe he was going places. Aaron revelled in it, he was usually withdrawn, didn’t like the attention that came with his job. As time went on, he found a way to cope with it all. This is what he wanted to do, he wanted to be as successful as possible. If he was noticed the odd time out in the streets by strangers, then he could live with that.

Things were good for months. His popularity growing, his agent finding him regular work. He was none stop, didn’t even have time to see his family. He stuck at it though, despite his mothers worries he was working too hard, complaining that it was too long not to have seen each other.

Aaron had plans, though. He didn’t just want to better his life, he wanted the best for his family. This was his golden ticket to achieving that.

He was optimistic about his future, his family’s future. Aaron was the happiest he had ever been.

Then things gradually collapsed around him. He never thought to mention his sexuality, didn’t see the point. He was there to do a job, and he did a good one, he knew that.

He was out with a few friends, just casual drinks. He’d hit it off with some guy in a bar. It was a bit of fun, a shared kiss here and there.

The next day, he’d been called into his agents’ office. A mixture of disappointment, disgust and confusion etched on his face. Aaron couldn’t understand what his sudden problem was, until he was getting out his phone and showing him the photos someone had taken without his knowledge or permission.

Aaron felt anger bubble up inside of him. Why would someone do that? He knew he was more recognisable now, but he never expected to be secretly papped when he was out minding his own business. Enjoying his own social life, just like any other person who worked did.

Aaron swallowed, still struggling to come to terms with what was in front of him. “Who the fuck sent you that?”

Dexter’s jaw tensed, shoving his phone back into his jacket. “Does it matter? You shouldn’t be out there… out there doing _that_ with men.”

“Are you serious?” Aaron frowned, “What I do in my own time is nobody’s business! I’m not going to apologise, I did nothing wrong.”

Dexter paced his office. “So- so you like men then? You are gay?”

Aaron’s mouth turned downwards, shrugged. “What’s it matter if I am?”

He had hidden away for so long when he was younger. _Afraid_ of what would happen if he accepted who he was, if he had come out. He fought with himself for years. Until he couldn’t do it anymore. He wouldn’t go back there now, wouldn’t hide who he was because of someone else’s bigoted opinions.

“This could ruin everything, Aaron. You’ve come so far, I’d watch what you’re doing lad.”

“It was a kiss, Dexter. We were hardly ripping each other’s clothes off.” Aaron paced the small office, his hands on his hips. “So, you’ve got a problem with me being gay then?”

Dexter’s reluctance to answer said it all. “We got you to where you are today, Aaron. Are you really going to risk losing all that?”

Aaron closed his eyes in disbelief, “are you series? Who’s the one who does the auditions? I work my arse off, and you know it.”

Dexter sat down in his chair, Aaron barely able to look at him. “I do, and I know a star when I see one and that’s why I’m telling you, you can’t be seen out with another guy.  Not in that proximity.”

“I’m not hiding who I am,” Aaron _willed_ himself not to cry. “I did that for so long before and you, or anybody else for that matter, will push me back into that fucking closet.”

Dexter ran his fingers over his lips, looked to be deep in thought. But when he replied, it seemed anything Aaron was saying was falling onto deaf ears. “I’m doing this for you, Aaron. Things will get messy and you’ll regret it if you don’t listen to me now.”

Aaron felt sick, the walls were closing in on him and he had to get out of here, away from someone he thought wouldn’t ever turn his back on him, the man who had made him the person he was now. “Ya know what?” Aaron snarled. “Fuck you and your job.”

Aaron had gone home, had too much to drink and had scrolled through his contacts on his phone. Called the first guy he knew would leap at the chance of a night with him.

He was right, he came running, and they fucked until Aaron felt satisfied.

It was a ‘fuck you’ to Dexter and to the rest of the world who thought the same as him.

//

Ed was nice. No baggage, and he was fit as hell. It was clear he had strong feelings for Aaron. despite him earning less money than Aaron, he would take him away on weekends, buy him things, appreciate him properly and he wasn’t afraid to show or care who knew.

Aaron hadn’t replied to Dexter’s phone calls, texts or emails. He still felt an underlying pit of rage whenever he thought about their exchange. He wasn’t interested in anything he had to say.

Despite the fact he missed working. He missed having something to get up to, missed having something new every day. He hated lying to his mum, to Ed. Telling them that work had dried out for a while, so he was taking a break. His mum had told him to find a new agency, and he should have. But he strangely felt a loyalty to the agency he was with. He had made friends there, he didn’t want to lose them, didn’t want them to think bad of him, worried that Dexter would and could turn them against him. That was one of Aaron’s downfalls, he was just _too_ loyal to those who had given him something in life.

Aaron didn’t want to hide away, and he was sure that people would have probably forgotten about him by now. He hadn’t been on tv for nearly a month now. So that’s how he ended up in that same bar where all this started, with Ed by his side.

Everything seemed normal, after a few hours of looking behind his shoulder and out of bar windows, Aaron let his guard down. A few drinks down and he was sitting hand and hand with Ed.

The next morning, he couldn’t believe it. He had been _so_ careful. Ed had come back with the local paper; him and Ed on the third page, Ed kissing Aaron on the cheek with their fingers entwined.

How could it have happened again? Why him?

He hated to think of Dexter been right, but his mind filled with doubt and dread.

//

He avoided Ed for the rest of the day, phoned his mum to see if he could stay with her for a few days. She instantly knew something was wrong, questioning her son repeatedly until she had to settle for Aaron telling her everything was fine, and that he just wanted to see her.

A few days had passed, Aaron had started working in the garage with his uncle just to earn some cash. When he was a teenager he thought he would never leave this place, coming back here now made him more grateful for how things had turned out for him. Even now, when everything was a mess, he was proud of himself and nothing could take that away from him.

He spent the nights with his mum, he felt like a little boy again. He wasn’t being ungrateful, it was good to see her, but she pondered around him like he was her baby again. He had grown to do things for himself, he didn’t depend on anyone and coming back here made him feel like all that was been taken away from him.

He loved her with all his heart, though. And he made sure to tell her every night before he headed off to bed, a smile on her face every time, like those words were the best thing ever.

He wouldn’t let her know how bad things were, it would break him to see her not smiling like that.

He was sick of the deceit, the lies eating away at him.

It was time to swallow his pride and try and come to some sort of conclusion.

He had to speak to Dexter.

//

Aaron woke early, making himself a slice of toast and leaving before his mum woke up.

The night before he spent his time reading through the emails and voicemails he had been ignoring. The messages were a mixture of anger, pleading and desperation. It made Aaron laugh, Dexter was desperate to have him back. Clearly the exit of the best actor he had was affecting things for him.

He sent him an email back to tell him he wanted to see him. Aaron surprisingly didn’t have to wait long for a reply, Dexter giving him a time.

The office felt smaller than before, the tension was thick and heavy, and Aaron was half tempted to leave. He hated himself for giving in, felt like he was grovelling.

“Thank you for finally getting in touch, Aaron.” Dexter sat at his desk, Aaron sitting as far away as he could on the small sofa in the corner.

“I want my job back,” Aaron said honestly. “But I also don’t want to hide who I am.”

Dexter sighed. “I saw the recent photos in the paper, Aaron. Have you seen the comments on the newspapers website? Most of them are not nice, I don’t want you to have to put up with that.”

Aaron bit his lip, hadn’t thought to check what people online might have been saying about him. He didn’t want to now either, Dexter’s words hitting a nerve. “You mean you don’t want a gay boy working for you.” Aaron said it with venom, a bitter laugh followed.

“I want what’s best for this company. For you,” Dexter said it with so much conviction that Aaron almost believed it. “You don’t have an ordinary life anymore, Aaron. There’s people out there who know you, know your name.”

Aaron became frustrated. “I can’t pretend I’m something I’m not. I might be an actor, but I’m not acting straight… or whatever it is you’re expecting from me.”

Dexter took a deep breath, “I haven’t said this to you,” Aaron looked at him. “Maybe you should go somewhere out of Leeds when you want to… you know,” Dexter made an awkward action with his hands. “You’ll have less risk of been caught then, and that way you can still be yourself.”

Aaron shook his head in disbelief, “it’s 2016, for fuck sake. Why should I have to go anywhere else? I have as much right as anybody else to go out and have a good time.”

“Maybe this career isn’t for you then,” Dexter turned his focus to his computer.

“It’s my dream, Dexter.” Aaron’s eyes watered and he could kick himself. “There’s loads of out and proud actors, what’s so different for me?”

“You are only starting out, you are still new to all this. Do you think any of those got to where they are now without abuse and homophobia?” Dexter looked up at Aaron, the tears were falling now, and he sighed. “They’d have a field day with you,” Dexter said softly. “You aren’t ready to deal with all of that, even if you aren’t ashamed of who you are.”

Aaron rubbed at his eyes with his jumper harshly, making his face red. He hated that Dexter had a point, seeing himself in the newspaper with Ed had made him worry instantly, he knew that it was like a witch hunt, they really wanted to fish some dirt on him and him being gay was it.   “So, I’m supposed to just let them win? Live a lie?”

Dexter came around to sit next to Aaron on the sofa, Aaron instantly standing up, didn’t want to be near him. _Hated_ him, hated the fact he had a point. “They wont win, Aaron. You’ll be living your dream, making a name for yourself.” Dexter swallowed, like he didn’t like the words coming out of his mouth. “And I’ve told you how you can get to be yourself… there’s plenty of gay bars in different towns for you to go to.”

Aaron just rolled his eyes, his head dropping into his hands. He hated the way his agent was making his sexuality seem seedy, like the only thing that mattered to him was having sex with some stranger. When really, it was the principal that mattered, Aaron felt tired now, too worn down to argue back.

He shrugged, accepting defeat. “So where do we go from here?”

Dexter told him about job coming up in a couple of weeks, it didn’t sound like much, but Aaron took it, needed _something_ after months of nothing.

That job leads him to Robert Sugden.

//

Aaron ends things with Ed a while after, a day before he starts his new job to be precise. Dexter in his ear again about him needing to focus on work now, that being seen with Ed again could drag everything back up the surface, and to be honest, Aaron just wanted a simple life now. He wanted to go back to how things were before all of this.

Ed was nice enough about it, Aaron promised they’d stay friends and Ed seemed happy enough with it.

His boss Nicola wanted to see him the day before the screen test, wanted him to get a taste for things there, show him how things operated. Aaron was eager to impress, excited.

When he arrived, his nerves got the better of him. This was the first thing he’d done in months, he worried he wouldn’t be as good anymore. Time away from everything made his insecurities flood in, Dexter was back to his old ways, telling him he’d be fine, that he could do anything.

Their relationship wasn’t the same, which was fine by Aaron. They kept things civil and business like, the strain of the past months still hanging over their heads. Aaron just wanted work, and unfortuantly, Dexter was the best in the business and, so he had to continually swallow his pride.

He stands outside Nico and King’s studio for what feels like hours, finding the courage to walk in the building. He jumps into action when a group of kids come out of the side entrance, full of giggles and sweets. He smiles to himself and gives himself a shake, he’ll be fine once he’s in there.

He spots a guy packing away his filming equipment and Aaron bites at his lip nervously before walking up to him.

He’s not sure he would have approached him if he had known what he looked like. He took Aaron’s breath away, but found it in himself to use his acting skills. Pulling his sleeves over his hands was a nervous trait, but the guy didn’t know that, on the service Aaron looked calm and collected.

His name was Robert. Robert with the breath-taking smile and shiny eyes. He hoped he hadn’t noticed the shake in his voice when he told him his own name.

Aaron quickly asked for Nicola, needed someone else around him so his eyes weren’t completely focused on the blond guy before him. He was glad of the fresh air when Robert showed him where she was.

Robert had left soon after, his job here done. Aaron tried to let himself forget about how attractive he was. He put all his efforts into impressing Nicola and her husband, Jimmy.

Then he met Carly, the girl he’d be doing the commercial with. Aaron might have been wrong, but he was sure she was flirting a bit, so he tried to act his way into flirting back.

He hoped it wasn’t obvious that deep down he was hating every second.

//

The next day Aaron goes out for a few drinks with the guys from the agency. He heads over to the bar, a girl near his side taking a drink through a straw, her eyes eyeing him up as if her advances would work. She looked ridiculous, Aaron had to turn away before he laughed in her face.

He had ordered his drink, the girl coming up to him before he had chance to leave. She whispered in his ear, told him she knew who he was. That she fancied him, and it was surreal to see him here. Aaron felt like she must have had the wrong person, he hadn’t been on tv for months, he really wasn’t _that_ famous.

He smiled at her a little, pulling away and that’s when he saw him. Robert was looking over at them, watching Aaron carefully and Aaron’s hairs stood on end. That instant attraction was still there, despite trying to hide and forget it, it wasn’t going anywhere.

Aaron had to act, he turned to face the girl and kissed her. He kept their bodies apart, despite the clammy hand on his waist trying to pull him closer. He couldn’t even close his eyes, hoped Robert hadn’t noticed. He pulled away and took the girls hand in his, he swallowed the bile threatening to rise and left the bar under the watchful eye of Robert.

Once Aaron had been hit with fresh air, with rowdy passer byes he let out a breath. His breathing heavy and the girl clinging on his arm was too drunk to notice.

“Sorry. I’ve got to go,” Aaron pulled himself out of her touch and ran to the nearest taxi.

He wasn’t sure why, but he turned around into the rear view, something telling him to look. He knew he’d be there, Robert had come out of the bar. He didn’t want to spend too long thinking about why he had.

//

Aaron doesn’t pay no notice to Robert, even though he can _feel_ his eyes on him. It’s like his body reacts to anything that involves Robert. It’s crazy and pathetic, he’s only known Robert a few days and he finds himself doing things that he shouldn’t.

Flirting with Carly is one of them things. This isn’t him, he’s never felt the need to flirt with someone… a woman. But this is him hiding who he is again, isn’t it? This is him doing the exact thing he said he wouldn’t do again. He can feel the self-loathing inside of him, he never thought he’d be back here.

He can’t let himself fancy Robert, he can’t let his guard down.

So, he flirts with Carly knowing full well Robert is watching them. He even asks her if she wants to go out for a drink after work, her beaming smile making him feel instantly guilty.

Aaron wants to get out of there, away from Robert. Not quick enough though, Robert’s calling him back and Aaron hates him for making this harder than it needs to be.

Robert admits to fancying him, the surprise knocks the breath from Aaron. Even though Robert’s been watching him, he wasn’t expecting such an open admission.

Aaron didn’t want to hear anymore, couldn’t stay around him because he wasn’t sure he would be able to stop himself. And it angered him that he was even thinking about this, he felt like he had gone back years and it hurt him.

Robert had come close, wanted to talk to him. Become his friend. Aaron had taken a step back, _begged_ him to stay away.

They didn’t even know each other, yet it felt like they knew the others’ thoughts. Like Robert would do anything to keep Aaron safe.

“But you know?” Robert had said quietly, and Aaron couldn’t answer him back because he _did_ know. It felt like it was the only thing that made sense and it scared him.

So, he acted his way through his drinks with Carly.

He could do this. He _had_ to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS!
> 
> I'm sorry this was angsty, there will be good things coming... I promise.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Robert's birthday and things are starting to look up for him ;)

**Vic**

It was the day Robert had been dreading. His birthday.

He woke to find Vic already in his living room, Robert might have hated his birthday, but Vic didn’t. She made a fuss over him regularly anyway, but she made extra efforts on his birthdays. Robert was starting to think she did it because it made Robert feel uncomfortable.

Sisterly love and all that.

Despite how she had been feeling lately, things had improved in the past few days. Her and Adam were taking their time to get back what they had before Holly’s death. They were taking things slow and they had their mini break to look forward to. Robert was relieved to see his sister even a tiny bit like herself again.

She kissed her brother on the cheek, and then wrapped her arms around his waist. Robert held her tightly, resting his head on hers and hugged her close. “Happy birthday,” she said cheerfully. “I’ve made you breakfast so you go and put your feet up.”  

Robert didn’t have it in him to protest, and he never could turn down food made by Vic. “Thank you.”

“Ta-da,” Vic returned with a plate of pancakes and an americano.

Robert always had pancakes for breakfast on his birthday, he wasn’t sure how it started, but Vic kept to the tradition. Robert smiled up at her, this made him feel younger than he actually was today. He had woke not wanting anything special, didn’t want a fuss. But he had to admit, he was grateful right now for his sister being here and starting off the day better than he had imagined.

Robert finished his breakfast, and it wasn’t long before Vic was pushing him out of the door. The next part of his birthday ahead of him.

He was strangely looking forward to whatever she had planned.

//

**Friends**

It was a surprise birthday party. _Obviously._

Vic had booked a VIP part of the club, everybody was there. Pictures were up along the length of the tables, they varied from when he was a child to him now. Photos of him and his parents, his heart sunk at the sight of them, Vic came up to him, her hand lovingly on her arm. “How do you get these?” Robert asked, almost struggling to catch a breath.

“They were all in the photo albums Andy left me, before he went abroad. I had a flick through and I thought it would be a nice touch,” Vic took the photo from him and smiled down at it. “Do you like it?”

‘I do,” he kissed her forehead. “Thank you.”

He hid his face in her hair, before he was startled into everybody wishing him a happy birthday. All of them with masks on of his face, he laughed away the tears forming in his eyes.

//

He mingled with everyone, Robert wasn’t sure if it was the drink or if there had been a drastic change in Nicola and Jimmy’s relationship, but Nicola had Jimmy in the corner, all to herself, whispering in Jimmy’s ear and making him laugh like a little boy, before she pulled him in for a snog. Robert laughed as he watched them, before sitting down next to Vanessa and Pearl.

They were all drunk, Robert the least so. He was still overwhelmed, he hadn’t expected any of this, but he felt _happy_ that they’d all come to celebrate.

Robert and Vanessa were laughing at Pearl, her head dropped back slightly, her mouth wide open. She had fallen asleep. “Maybe I should take her home,” Vanessa said with a laugh.

“Alright, come on. I’ll make sure you both get off ok.”

Robert stood up, waking Pearl before he got her to her feet. She smiled up at him, her hand slapping his cheek lightly. “What a lovely day for my boy,” she said drunkenly.

“Come on you, let’s get you home.”

They waited outside to flag a taxi down, Vanessa gave Robert a hug before returning her attention to Pearl.

“I told you turning 40 wasn’t that bad,” Vanessa quipped. “Shame you didn’t find The One though, eh?”

“The nights not over with yet,” Robert joked with a wink.

“Have fun,” she leaned up to kiss his cheek.

A taxi pulled up and Robert waved his goodbye’s as they got in.

Robert turned to head back inside until something stopped him. He saw them from the corner of his eye, his jaw tensing and his breathing becoming unsteady.

Aaron. Aaron with Carly. He can’t help but watch them, Carly’s laughing in Aaron’s ear, their bodies close and Robert just wants to pull them away from each other.

Aaron doesn’t really want this. Robert doesn’t want this for them.

They’re most likely out on another fake date, and Robert knows he should just go back inside and leave them be, but he can’t. “Aaron!”

He’s calling him, and walking over before he can talk himself out of it. Carly pulls away, smiling up at Robert, she gives him a quick hug. He doesn’t look at Aaron, knows he’s watching him in disbelief. Can _sense_ Aaron’s eyes burning a hole into the side of his head.

Robert’s done some stupid things in his time, but he knows Aaron’s a smart lad. _Knows_ Aaron knows this is all ridiculous himself. He’s doing him a favour.

“Come and join us for a few drinks?” Robert offers, eyes still firmly on Carly.

“What’s the special occasion?” She asks, her arm linking with Aaron as if to bring him into the conversation.

“My birthday,” he says with a smile. He finally acknowledges Aaron. “Maybe you can buy the birthday boy a drink, what do you say, Aaron?”

Robert watches the way Aaron swallows down whatever it is that’s threatening to rise. His body tensed, and Robert just wants to see him relax. Wants to see him the way he was when they first met, wants to see that warmness in his eyes, his soft, shy smile rising across his face.

The way Aaron’s looking at him now, Robert’s worried he’ll see pigs flying first.

“Thing is, we are on a date,” Aaron says harshly, un beknown to Carly. “So, I don’t think- “

“Aw, come on.” Carly tugs at his arm. “We can stay for one.”

Robert licks his lips, his eyebrows raised and Aaron huffs.  “Fine.”

He heads inside without another word or look at Robert.

//

Aaron waits at the bar, ready to get Robert a drink. Can’t not now that Robert suggested such a thing outside. Carly’s talking to Nicola and Jimmy, and Robert stands with Aaron at the bar.

“You not gonna wish me happy birthday?” Robert’s teasing slightly, trying to bring Aaron out of his shell. Wants to break down that wall that he’s built up around him.

Aaron taps his fingers across the bar. He rolls his eyes at Robert. “You’re lucky I’m even buying you a drink, mate.”

Robert sighs. “There’s really no need to be like this with me,” Robert says, unable to hide his annoyance and hurt. “I haven’t done anything wrong.”

That seems to still Aaron, he rubs at the back of his neck. Clearly tense, and Robert places his hand over Aaron’s arm without thinking, tries to sooth him. Aaron pulls his arm away, looks around the bar to make sure nobody saw. Especially Carly. “I told ya to stay away from me.” He turned to look up at Robert, “so do it.”

Robert doesn’t know where it comes from, Aaron’s mood must be rubbing off on him, but he snaps, his face inches away from Aaron’s. “Do ya know what? Fuck you. I’m trying to help you here, it’s clear as day you aren’t interested in Carly. Or any other woman for that matter.” Robert steps back, tries to calm himself. “This isn’t you Aaron. Like I said, I’m here if you want to talk.”

“Stop acting as if you know me,” Aaron hits back just as strongly. “I don’t want anything from you, and I really can do without your good man act.”

“Do you know what?” Robert nods, shoving his hands into his pockets. “You’re right. What do I know?” He shakes his head at Aaron, fails to hide his disappointment. “I hope all this is worth it, I _really_ hope it’s making you happy.” When the barman finally gets to them, Robert moves further away from Aaron, looks towards his friends. “Forget that drink,” Robert says, knocking shoulders with Aaron as he walks away from him.

Aaron knocks down a shot of whiskey at the bar before heading over to the table everyone’s sat around, he plasters on that fake smile he’s mastered so well lately.

//

Robert gets bored of having to sit through Carly all over Aaron like a rash, and having to watch Aaron look like he’d rather be anywhere else than here. He leaves them with Nicola and Jimmy, and finds himself at the bar talking to a guy who had been giving him the eye for the best part of the night. He’s young, light brown hair and his eyes are a shade of brown and he’s clean shaven. He’s everything Aaron isn’t. He’s what he could do with right now.

Robert’s a natural flirt, so it’s no surprise that the guy’s all up close in his personal space, looking up at him like a love-sick puppy. He lets him buy him a few drinks after telling him it’s his birthday. He lies about how old he is after the guy tells him he’s only just turned 30.

“Would you like to open another present?” The younger guy asked, his fingertips brushing over the top of Robert’s belt lightly.

Robert drew back slightly at the cheesy chat up line, but laughs all the same. “Why not?” He smirked, his eyebrow rising as he finished off his drink.

He waved his goodbyes to Jimmy and Nicola. “You dirty dog!” Jimmy smacked a kiss to Robert’s head.

Nicola rolled her eyes at her husband’s rowdy behaviour, but Robert saw the faint smile on her lips. “See you later, Robert.”

Robert gave Carly a quick hug, gave Aaron a little wave without looking at him so as not to look completely rude, and made his way to leave the pub.

He got around the corner before he felt a hand grip his arm, pulling him back round. Aaron faced him, and that look was there. That look he had on his face when they first met, his lip drawn in between his teeth. A nervousness to his sudden actions, “sorry.” He dropped Robert’s arm from his grasp.

“It’s fine,” Robert nodded towards the guy he was guaranteed a good night with waiting for him outside. “I’d best go.” Robert didn’t want to read into anything here. Couldn’t let himself get his hopes up, he couldn’t read too much into anything anymore when it came to Aaron.

Aaron had to do his own thing, Robert would just follow suit. He would give Aaron what he wanted, he never put his life on hold for anyone, he wasn’t about to start now.

Only, as Aaron stood close to him, hundreds of words unspoken, Robert felt maybe that wasn’t the case anymore. “Don’t,” Aaron pulled his jumper over his knuckles, and Robert’s heart fluttered. “Can we go somewhere. Talk.”

“What about Carly?” Robert folded his arms across his chest, protection.

“I’ll tell her I’m going home,” Aaron shrugged. “Please,” he said quietly.

Robert just nodded, going out of the side entrance, not bothering to ditch his one-night stand face to face, and waited for Aaron.

Robert wasn’t one for nerves, but the sensation inside his stomach right now felt a whole lot like them.

//

They headed to a quiet bar on the other side of town, Aaron requesting they go somewhere that wasn’t in the centre of town. Robert gets them a drink and they sit in a booth in the back of the place, thankfully it’s dead and Aaron relaxes a little.

“So, what was all that about?” Robert takes a sip out of his bottle.

Aaron picks at the label on his own bottle, his teeth chewing on the inside of his cheek. “I wanted to talk to you. To apologise,” he finally lifts his head to meet his eyes with Robert’s. “I’m sorry for how I’ve being acting around you, I’ve been bang out of order.”

“Just a bit,” Robert takes another swig of his beer. “So, none of this is to do with you seeing me with another guy?”

Aaron scoffs, a laugh failing to leave his mouth. “No,” he lies. “Sleep with whoever you want, it’s none of me business.”

“Only you said ‘don’t’ when you knew I was leaving with him. ‘Don’t’ what, Aaron?” Robert pressed. “You’re going to have to be a little clearer, cause this blowing hot and cold thing is kind of boring.”

Robert doesn’t mean to sound so harsh, but there’s a reason behind it. He wants Aaron to snap, to let it all out, to talk to him and to let himself be who he is without fear.

“Fine,” Aaron slams his bottle down onto the table. “I watched you with him and I got jealous. Happy?”

Robert tries to hide his smile, a massive breath leaving his lungs and Aaron looks down at his hands, exasperated with himself.

 “Talk to me, Aaron.” Robert moves a little closer, but keeps a gap between them. “You can trust me.”

Aaron looks up at him, a soft smile. A _genuine_ smile and takes a deep breath. “I am gay,” Aaron nods. “I’m not in the closet... I mean, not to family and that.” He takes his bottle back into his hand, tries to busy himself. “My agent, Dexter, reckons I’ve gotta act straight. Says I won’t get work if people know I’m gay.”

Robert shakes his head, “what an arsehole.” Robert takes Aaron’s bottle out of his hands, makes him look at him. “You don’t have to listen to that bullshit. Find yourself a new agent, Aaron.”

“He’s helped me get to where I am today. I can’t just leave.”

“You don’t owe him anything, Aaron! He wants you to live a lie just to rake in the money for himself. He sounds like a delight,” Robert drawled, sarcastically.

“He knows what’s best for me,” Aaron says, unconvincingly. “I’ve argued with him myself over it, but he reckons it’s the only way.”

“You know that’s not true,” Robert sighs. “I can tell that this presence is killing you. You shouldn’t have to hide who you are for anyone.”

“How are you so confident?” Aaron asks, hopeful of Robert’s guidance.

Robert laughs, “have you seen me?” He winks, and Aaron playfully shoves his arm. “It took me years to accept I was bisexual, was brought up thinking it wasn’t natural. But sooner or later, there comes a time when you’ve just got to do what’s best for you. I was sick of lying, of hiding away.” Robert smiles, “I was lucky to have such good friends and my sister.”

“Sounds exactly like me,” Aaron says, thoughtful. “I hated who I was for years, I was angry with the world. Kept wondering, ‘why me?’ I never thought I’d have to hide who I was again.”

“So, don’t,” Robert places his hand over Aaron’s hand, and this time Aaron doesn’t move away from his touch. “You deserve to be happy, Aaron.”

Aaron smiles up at him, “thank you.” Aaron lets his fingers lift under the touch of Robert’s, their fingers brushing gently against each other. “I’m sorry for putting all this on you. On your birthday, of all days.”

“It was pretty boring until now,” Robert moves his fingers, so they lock slightly with Aaron’s. “You smell good,” Robert says randomly, his nostrils filling with nothing, but Aaron and he can’t get enough.

“Who even says stuff like that?” Aaron laughs, his body leaning into Robert’s naturally. His shoulders relaxed, resting in against Robert’s chest.

“People who want you,” Robert says dangerously close to Aaron’s ear. His hot breath leaving a treacle of heat down his neck.

Aaron’s shocked out of the moment by a group of lads coming into the bar. He moves away from Robert instantly, and clears his throat. He excuses himself to the toilets and Robert slumps back, his eyes closed in frustration.

//

They leave together, Aaron walking on ahead, but he nods for Robert to follow him. The streets are quiet, and Aaron turns down a side alley. The street lights nowhere near where they are, so they’re in darkness.

Aaron’s hands come out to find Robert, and they still when they find the top of his arms. Aaron’s hands travel the length of them until they reach his own hands. They’re cold and it sends a shiver down his spine. He swallows, tries to slow his heart rate down. He’s sure Robert can probably hear it.

“Say it again,” Aaron steps in closer.

“I want you,” Robert replies straight away, not having to take a minute to think what Aaron could be asking for. “I _want_ you,” he repeats.

Aaron’s eyes close against the sound of the words, he’s been wanted before but nothing as sounded as good as it does than when they left Robert’s lips.

With their bodies pressed together, Aaron pushes Robert up against the brick wall. Their breaths are laboured as Robert’s hands find Aaron’s waist, pulling him in even closer.

Aaron’s hands come up to Robert’s face, his hands and fingers searching. He glides his thumb over Robert’s bottom lip, pulls it down slowly and Robert huffs out a sigh. “We don’t have to do anything, Aaron.”

But god, did he want to.

Aaron laughs quietly, privately for Robert’s ears only, and it’s a sound Robert could get used to. “I know,” Aaron’s hands come down to the front of his shirt, his fingers curling. “But I want to.”

Robert can’t help but let out a sigh of relief, he leans forward, presses his forehead against Aaron’s. “I’m so glad you said that,” he laughs more to himself.

“Are you going to do something about it, then?” Aaron asks, his voice laced with something Robert hasn’t experienced from him before.

Confidence. Sass. Lust.

Robert loves every bit of it, and he let’s his cheek brush against Aaron’s, he smirks against the coldness of his skin. “Someone’s found their balls.”

Aaron tuts playfully. “Will you just kiss me already?”

Robert doesn’t want to wait any longer, and so he doesn’t. He brings his hands up to either side of Aaron’s face and he opens his lips to press against Aaron’s lips. They have to navigate a little, the darkness making it that little bit more difficult, but with the tilt of Robert’s head, their lips meet. A softness at first, a smile against Aaron’s lips that makes Robert spin them around, so Aaron’s backs pressed up against the wall.

A moan escapes Aaron and its music to Robert’s ears, his tongue touches against Aaron’s and it turns messy. All teeth and no real rhythm, other than hands pulling at clothes and hair. Robert’s thigh slots in between Aaron’s legs and Robert grinds against him slightly, making Aaron’s head fall back.

“Not here,” Aaron says, short of breath.

“Come to mine,” Robert says against his jaw, before nestling his face into his neck and kissing under his ear.

Aaron doesn’t say anything, probably too lost for words, he reluctantly moves away and walks out from the alley. The street lights are almost blinding, Aaron’s clothes a mess and his lips bruised pink. Robert smirks happily to himself, unable to keep his eyes off Aaron.

“Don’t look so happy with yourself, mate.” Aaron scoffs, trying to sort his hair out to how it was before Robert’s desperate fingers clawed through it.

Robert checks that there’s nobody around before going up to Aaron again, can’t keep his hands off him now he’s had a taste. Aaron falls comfortably into his arms, a smile spreading against his face.

“Happy birthday, Robert.” Aaron says biting his lip. He does a double take before leaning in and giving Robert a long kiss, his tongue teasing slightly against his lips. “Lead the way to yours then.”

Robert can’t believe his luck. It seems life _really_ does begin at 40.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dedicate this to my bestie, Husna (@wycombewanderer on tumblr). Thank you for your endless support x
> 
> Enjoy everyone x

**Aaron**

None of this was planned, but it’s something he wanted to happen. Seeing Robert with another man made him act. He had to put a stop to this, he was tired of pretending. He had to forget about everything else, forget about Dexter.

And he knew the second Robert had his hands on him, kissing him, that he didn’t and couldn’t waste anymore time. He felt himself again, he felt alive and he felt relaxed for the first time in weeks. He didn’t have to pretend now. Not with Robert.

It’s early hours in the morning when they finally get a taxi. Aaron’s nerves take a hold of him when the taxi driver recognises him, says his daughter loves and can he have his autograph. Aaron smiles back politely, writes on the back of a business card and signs it off with a kiss.

“Thanks bud, she’ll be over the moon.” The taxi driver buzzes. “You had a good night lads?”

Aaron clears his throat, “yeah. Just been out celebrating a mate’s birthday.”

Robert’s fingers reach over to brush along Aaron’s thigh, and Aaron can’t help it. He pulls his leg away, shuffles further away from him and turns to look out of the window. He can feel Robert’s look of rejection on his face and Aaron leans his head against the window.

“Nice,” they stop at a set of traffic lights. “You two just having a party of your own now?”

It’s a harmless question, he’s just making conversation. Just like any other person would try and do, but Aaron can’t see past it. He’s being paranoid, but the guy knows who he is. He could go to the papers, say he gave him a lift home with another man. Aaron swallows, urges the voices inside of his head to stop talking.

“No,” Aaron’s saying sitting up, fishing out a ten pound note from his wallet. “I don’t feel too good, drop me off here.”

“Aaron- “Robert tries, reaches out for him again and Aaron can’t stay. He jumps out before the lights change.

He’s walking, almost sprinting into a run. His lungs feel like they’re going to collapse, his chest tight and he just _needs_ to get away.

But he can’t. He’s being pulled around by his arm, Robert facing him. A mixture of emotions crossing his face in a matter of seconds. His eyes leave the same expression, though.

Hurt.

“What’s wrong with you?” Robert let’s go of him. “He was making conversation.”

“I just want to go home.” Aaron says, ignoring everything Robert’s said. “I need to be alone.”

“You aren’t pushing me away again,” Robert shakes his head. “We don’t have to do anything,” Robert reassures. “Just come to mine, relax. Have a few drinks, talk.” Robert smiles down at him. “Don’t let that ruin tonight.”

Aaron sighs. Why is he always no nice? Understanding? Aaron wants to hate him for it. Robert’s face lightens up a bit, hope in his smile and Aaron finds himself smiling back and nodding.

//

Robert’s place is everything Aaron expected. White’s and greys, basic and way too big for just one person to live in.

“You’ve got a nice place,” Aaron continues to look around, and takes the bottle of beer handed to him. “Thanks.”

“I guess, it’s too big for just me.” Robert says, as if he’s read Aaron’s mind. Robert watches him, and Aaron’s skin turns pink. “So, what was all that about back in the taxi?”

Aaron takes a few swigs of his beer before answering. “Dunno,” he shrugs. “I panicked a bit, he knew who I was, and I just thought the worst.” He looked up at Robert. “I thought he would add two and two together and know what we were doing.” Aaron sighs, rubs at his forehead, frustrated with himself. “I was an idiot.”

“He didn’t care, Aaron. He was just making conversation.” Robert sat on his dining table, Aaron close by. “You can’t be in constant fear. Not everyone is as bad as you think.”

“Everything’s just been shit the past few months, I’m always expecting the worst.”

Robert nods, accepts Aaron hasn’t had the best few months. “Tonight, hasn’t been so bad though, has it? I mean, before we got into the taxi?”

Aaron laughs. “Nah, it was alright.”

He’s back to how he always feels around Robert. Back to feeling how he was down the alley, like Robert can take all his fears away. Like he can be himself. Things might be different out in the real world, but when its just the two of them, Aaron can be himself. And for now, that’s fine. It’s better than what he’s had to do 24/7 for the past few weeks.

The lies, the deceit. None of that is Aaron. He’s loyal, cares about those close to him. He’s got himself into a mess, especially bringing Carly into this.

He knows he’s got a lot to sort, and explaining to do. And he will, he will put things right, but right now, with Robert feet away from him he doesn’t want to think about anything other than picking up where they left things.

“It was more than alright, and you know it.” Robert says confidently. “You can’t get enough of me now.”

Aaron shakes his head, a turned down smile on his face, but he can’t help but step into Robert. Stands in between his legs, his arms in the middle of them, his drink still in hand. “Your ego is so big.”

“It’s not the only thing,” Robert looks down at his crotch, and it brings a laugh out of Aaron. Robert look back up at him, a glint in his eye.

“You’re such an idiot,” Aaron’s still laughing, leaning into Robert.

“I make you happy though,” Robert acknowledges warmly. “You look beautiful when you smile.”

Aaron bites the inside of his cheek, shakes his head as if it isn’t true. “You’re such a romantic, and cheesy as hell.”

Robert’s hands rest at the back of Aaron’s legs, pulls him in close and holds him there. “I don’t care. It’s true.”

“I bet you say that to everyone you want to sleep with,” Aaron takes a final swig out of his bottle before placing it down next to Robert.

“I think you know that’s not true,” Robert’s hands come up to Aaron’s back, tickles his jumper in little circles. “I think you know I’d wait for you.” Robert’s hands come up under Aaron’s jumper, his fingers now against his skin and Aaron closes his eyes for a second, the feel of Robert’s soft fingers making him fall into him that little bit more. “You definitely know I want you. A lot.”

He says it softly and teasing, Aaron leans his forehead against Robert’s, breathes him in and grins. “Kiss me,” Aaron says, wrapping his arms around Robert’s neck and running his fingers through the back of his hair.

Robert licks his lips and grins at the sight of Aaron. His mouth half open in anticipation, his eyes half closed with want. It’s a pretty sight that Robert could look at forever. He leans in close and licks Aaron’s lips with the tip of his tongue, making Aaron moan. He makes him moan again, this time nipping his bottom lip between his teeth and pulling it slowly.

Aaron’s fingers turn into fists, pulling at Robert’s hair as if to hold himself together. “Robert- “Aaron huffs, his belly doing summersaults and then the pleasure rushing right down to Aaron’s hardening cock.

The sound of Robert’s name leaving Aaron’s mouth like that makes him act. He turns them around, Aaron now sat on the table and Robert standing in between his thighs. Aaron’s legs wrap around him and Robert gives what Aaron wants, what they both want. A strong kiss, it knocks Aaron back slightly, but he finds himself, gives back just as much. Aaron opens his mouth wider, the kiss making his head spin. He moans at the feel of Robert’s hand rub across his crotch, his hand firm over him and wanting.

Aaron pulls away, struggling to catch a breath. He wets his lips with his tongue, his mouth dry. Robert keeps eye contact with him as he undoes his belt and zip. Robert latches on to the skin on Aaron’s neck, sucks and pulls at it with his teeth, his hand now wrapped around Aaron.

Aaron’s breathing doesn’t calm, and Robert revels in it, a grin forming. He leans in close to Aaron’s ear. “I want to taste you,” he whispers softly. He places soft kisses along his jaw before reaching Aaron’s lips again.

After a moment kissing, Aaron brings his hand up to Robert’s hair. Pushes him down to his knees and locks eyes with Robert. “Go on then,” he says, trying to catch his breath with a smile.

Robert smirks up at him, the visibility of how much he’s lost it makes Robert’s cock stir inside his boxers. He takes Aaron in his mouth, keeps his eyes on Aaron and moans against him, his hard cock flat against his tongue. Aaron’s head falls back, hectic moans escaping him, and Robert can’t help but smirk.

He rubs his hands along Aaron’s thighs, squeezes the flesh there and then yanks Aaron’s jumper, so Aaron’s forced to look at him. Aaron’s eyes are glazed over and Robert breathes deeply. Let’s Aaron out of his mouth on one last harsh suck, Aaron’s cock flops hard against his belly and after Robert’s caught his breath, he sucks at his balls.

His teeth come up the length of Aaron, and he loses it. He spasms, and Robert takes all he’s got to give. Robert lets him out of his mouth and he licks up the rest of the white substance on Aaron.

Robert stands, his legs wobbly and Aaron pulls him in for a kiss, tastes himself. This time it’s soft, and Robert lifts Aaron from the table and directs them into his bedroom.

//

Aaron’s body falls into Robert’s instantly, their bodies sweaty and flushed red. Their arms wrap around each other, Aaron’s head on Robert’s chest. There’s a comfortable silence, Robert’s fingers stroking the length of Aaron’s back.

“Is it too late to ask for your autograph?” Robert jokes, his tired body finding the strength to pull Aaron closer.

Robert flicks at Aaron’s nipple playfully before rolling his eyes.

“What?” Robert laughs quietly in Aaron’s damp hair. “I’ve never slept with anyone famous.”

“So, nobody you’ve worked with before has taken your fancy then?” Aaron looks up at him through his lashes.

Robert shakes his head. “You’re the only exception.”

Aaron’s not sure what it is, but that makes his insides warm up with something that makes him kneel up on his elbow and place a kiss to Robert’s lips. They share a look, a smile on both their faces before Robert’s turning Aaron back on his back and making him moan his name again into the crook of his neck.

**Pearl**

Aaron spends the night, Robert’s got to admit it felt pretty good to have someone sleep next to him, someone who he probably had to admit was already under his skin. This was made more prominent when Aaron left in the morning for work in a rush, Robert’s tempts at making him stay in bed a little longer failing.

They’d kissed at the door, Aaron’s back against the door frame, Robert’s hands either side of his neck, and Robert found it damn hard to let him go. He breathed him in a final time before letting him go, eyes on the back of him all the way.

Before Robert had chance to close his door behind him, Pearl was coming out of her apartment. Dressing gown firmly wrapped around her, looking a little worse for wear. Last night’s drinking clearly leaving her with a suffering hangover.

But Robert saw the look in her eye, the need to know the gossip. “Who was that? He looks familiar.”

Robert bites his lip, wants to tell her the truth. But won’t, knows Aaron wouldn’t appreciate him spreading their business around the apartment block. “Just another one-night stand,” Robert shrugs. “You don’t know him.”

She looks at him, unconvinced. She doesn’t push though, instead pushes passed Robert and into his place. Makes herself at home, grabbing two mugs from the cupboard and making them a coffee. “You had a good birthday then?” She says with a smile. “I wish I could have stayed longer. My poor, old body can’t handle it like you youngens anymore.”

“I’m hardly young, Pearl. I just turned 40.” Robert kind of forgot, the night with Aaron making him feel so much younger. He sits up on the kitchen worktop, Pearl looking at him with a disapproving look, hates it when he does that. He’s still a kid at heart, she supposes. She lets him off with a smile, pours the boiled water into the mugs.

“You’re only as young as you feel,” Pearl hands him over his drink. “And by the looks of that lad who just left, you must be feeling pretty good.”

Robert almost spits his coffee out laughing. “He was alright,” he was more than alright, his body still remembering every sensation Aaron’s touch caused him to react.

“So, you aren’t going to see him again then?” Pearl almost sounds sad for him.

“Not sure,” Robert lies. “You know how it is.”

She sighs. “What about that guy you said you liked? That’s not going anywhere, I take it?”

He forgot he had even told her about liking someone, never thought he would have had Aaron with him last night, or ever really. He’s digging himself a hole, hates lying to her but what else can he do now? Robert shakes his head, a tight smile across his face.

“I’m sorry,” she rubs his arm. “Why don’t you go and have a shower and I’ll make us breakfast?”

“I’d like that,” Robert gives her a hug, trying to hide his guilt from lying to her. “I won’t be long.”

Robert likes Aaron… more than he’s liked anybody in ages. He respects Aaron, wants him to trust him, last night meant things were heading where he wanted things to go.

But did that mean always having to lie to his friends? Hide away what could possibly come of this?

As he showered, hearing Pearl hum along and make a mess of his kitchen as she gathered stuff to make for them, and think of Aaron, he couldn’t help but feel a little conflicted.

**Robert**

When Robert arrives at work he looks out to spot Aaron instantly. He sees him, stood with Nicola and Jimmy and he can’t fight the smile on his lips when Aaron looks over at him and smirks.

He sets up his filming equipment, ready for today’s first take.

With his camera lens set, he aims it in the direction of Aaron, and Aaron knows it. Gives him a show by bending over to redo his boot laces, and then stretches his arms up over his head so his jumper rises, showing the skin Robert had his hands on the night before. Aaron turns to him, his bottom lip between his teeth and Robert nearly loses himself, forgets his surroundings. He clears his throat, expands the lens so its on the complete set.

After, when they call it a wrap, Robert’s making it known that he wants to get Aaron alone. Makes eye contact with Aaron and nods towards the back exit, wants him to follow.

He doesn’t have to wait long, Aaron comes almost jumping down the steps to Robert around the back of the building, a massive smile on his face. Aaron’s up against the wall in seconds, his back smacking against it, Robert’s hand firm against his chest. “You’re a tease.”

“Don’t know what you are on about, mate.” Aaron says playfully, looking down at the hand pressed against his chest.

“We need to get away, I need to have you again.”

Robert’s openness takes Aaron’s breath away, his desperation so blatantly obvious and Aaron pulls him close by his belt. “Have me then,” Aaron whispers against his lips.

It’s madness, a moment of madness and it’s taken away from them in a flash.

“Aaron!” A mans voice calls, and Aaron flinches, moves away from Robert quickly.

“Shit,” Aaron straightens down his jumper and sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“Who is it?” Robert ask, confused and he tries to get closer again, but Aaron’s stepping away.

Aaron looks behind them when he hears his name again, this time closer. “It’s Dexter,” he says sounding panicked and Robert hates to see how quickly this man makes Aaron change. “I’ve got to go.”

Robert’s whole-body tenses, too angry to do anything other than watch Aaron gather himself and go.

**Aaron**

Aaron can’t believe how reckless he had been. Being around Robert made him feel like he was himself, but the truth was that he was still having to live a lie to everybody that wasn’t his family and Robert.

“What are you doing here?” Aaron asks Dexter in the car. Feels as if he can’t catch a break.

“Wanted to check on things. See how you’re getting on with everyone.”

“Everything’s fine,” Aaron shrugs. “Everyone’s lovely.”

Dexter grins over at him, “seems someone’s grown fond of you anyway.”

What? Had he seen something between himself and Robert? Then after mulling it over, he knew Dexter wouldn’t be this happy about it if he had. “What, who?” Aaron asks instead.

“The tall, blonde hared lass. Lovely smile? I saw her first, so I asked her where you were. She couldn’t keep the smile off her face when I mentioned you.”

Aaron sighed, biting the nail on his thumb and keeping his eyes on the road. Carly. He had to end things before they could even go anywhere. He just needed to find the right time.

“We’ve just been out for a few drinks. Nothing special.”

“What are you waiting around for?” Dexter laughed, “you’d look good together.”

Aaron closed his eyes, the words making him feel sick. Frustration built as he replied. “I’m still gay. So, I don’t care how _good_ we would look.”

“I just thought you were taking my advice. You need to remember what I told you.”

All Aaron could remember was Robert. All he could remember was how Robert made him feel. He needed to see him, apologise.

Dexter dropped Aaron off home, Aaron not speaking another word to his bigoted agent.

**Robert**

Robert ignores the door at first. He’s been drinking, and to be quite honest, he can’t be bothered for any interaction right now. His anger from earlier still fresh in his gut. The knocking persists though, and he gives in. He answers the door with a whiskey in hand.

Aaron. His breath hitches for a second, a bunch of emotions all at once hitting him. He steadies himself with the final bit of his shot before moving aside to let Aaron in.

They don’t speak, or look at each other. Aaron too scared to move any further into Robert’s home and Robert doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know why he’s here.

“Robert- “

“What do you want, Aaron?” Robert speaks over him, his back to him and he refills his glass.

“I want to say sorry for earlier,” Aaron finally moves closer, just glad to hear Robert speak to him, even if he can’t look at him.

Robert scoffs. “If anyone should be apologising it’s that agent of yours.”

“But I shouldn’t have bolted like that,” Aaron tries to reason. He edges that bit closer, almost at Robert’s side. “You not gonna offer me a drink?” Aaron tries to offer a smile when Robert turns to finally look at him.

He grabs a glass down from the cupboard and pours him a glass. Aaron downs it one go, fails to hide his disgust but he pours himself another.

“Are you going to let that bastard ruin your life forever?” Robert cuts the silence.

“He just wants the best for me,” Aaron says flatly.

Robert laughs up in his face. “You know that’s not true. He only cares about himself and his reputation.”

Aaron doesn’t say anything back, his eyes on his shoes. “See, you know I’m right Aaron.”

“You don’t know him, he’s helped me- “

“Do you know what, I’m kind of bored of you sticking up for him. If you are happy hiding away, then carry on, but don’t use me to get ya kicks, alright?”

“That’s not what I’m doing,” Aaron swallows.

Robert swills the brown liquid in his glass. “I could have anyone I wanted,” Robert says smugly. “I’ve slept with plenty of people, you’re just another number anyway.”

Aaron shakes his head, stunned by Robert’s behaviour. “Don’t do this.”

“Do what?” Robert finishes his drink.

“Be an arsehole and try and push me away,” Aaron steps closer. “It won’t work.”

“You shouldn’t come here again,” Robert says as if he isn’t listening to Aaron and as if he isn’t inches away from him. “I mean, my neighbour already saw you leave this morning.”

“Did they know who I was?” Aaron asks nervously.

Robert laughs, slams his glass down. “I say you can’t come here again and yet the only thing you care about is if someone knew who you were?” Robert shakes his head. “You can’t make this up.”

“You know I’m scared, Robert!” Aaron shouts. “You said you’d be there for me, that you’d wait for me.” Aaron’s eyes water, “what’s changed?”

“I don’t want to have to keep lying to people I care about for someone who isn’t even willing to help themselves. You’d rather just carry on like this as if its what you want, and it’s not.”

“I just need time,” Aaron folds his fingers against the front of Robert’s shirt. “Please,” Aaron’s head drops to Robert’s chest in defeat. “I’m tired of hiding who I am to the world, but when I’m with you I can be myself. No lies, just me. Please don’t give up on me.”

“I’m not,” Robert sighs. “I just want what’s best for you.”

Aaron looks up at him, his fingers reaching up to Robert’s chin. A sad smile creeping up, “you are what’s best for me.”

Robert leans into Aaron’s touch, regretful of his brutal words. “I’m sorry,” he says into Aaron’s palm, placing a kiss there.

“I’m sorry too,” Aaron leans in for a hug, his eyes closed. “Please just be patient with me. I don’t want this to end.”

Despite it all, Robert’s aware that he would do anything regarding Aaron.

He presses his lips to Aaron’s forehead, a gesture that let’s Aaron know he doesn’t want this to end either.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This is just a short chapter, unfortunately my brain didn't want me to write anything, so I've wrote what I could without giving up. Hope you enjoy x

**Vanessa and Vic**

It comes out of the blue. Robert’s being dragged out on a Saturday night. Everyone moaning that they haven’t seen him in ages apparently. They think it’s because now Robert’s turned 40, he hates his life. That he feels old. They couldn’t be further from the truth.

It’s been nearly two weeks since his birthday, and every day since, Aaron has come over. Spent the night with him. Robert hasn’t needed to go out because everything he wants is in the shape of Aaron.

There’s no need to go out looking for a quick fix. To find someone to make him feel needed, desired. He gets all that and more with Aaron. Even if it’s just having Aaron in his arms, his head on his chest and Rocky Balboa on for what feels like the hundredth time that day, Robert’s feeling happier than he has done in ages.

Things are going slow, they don’t need to rush, and they won’t. Things outside of their bubble are difficult, and if anything was to come by and burst it, Robert’s not sure how he would cope. The thought of no Aaron now scares him.

Yet here he finds himself, his best friend and sister either side of him, linking their arms and telling him he needs to get out there again. That he’s still the attractive and smarmy bastard they all know and love.

Robert will always be that, yes. But he will be that with Aaron by his side.

It’s amazing how things have changed so quick. The thought of being in this bar now, man or woman draped all over him makes him feel nauseous and claustrophobic.

It feels wrong.

That’s why he leaves whilst the girls go to the toilet to top up their makeup. He’ll have some explaining to do tomorrow.

**Vic**

Robert’s busy at work, doesn’t notice Vic come in with a box full of cupcakes and a coffee for him.

She places the cakes and coffee cup down, and sits on the edge of Robert’s table. “Where did you go last night then?” She asks with raised eyebrows. She’s clearly got the wrong impression, but there’s no time to correct her.

“You’ve got to stop making all these wonderful cakes, Vic. My Nico says I’ve got no willpower when it comes to them.”

Vic smiles at him appreciatively, Jimmy’s hands already opening the box and taking a cake out. “Come here. Taste one of these, you’ll love ‘em.”

Aaron walks up to them, a soft smile on his face, and Robert sees the way his nerves reach the service. Aaron’s eyes fall on Vic, and without even been introduced Aaron knows it’s Robert’s sister. His sleeves are being pulled over his hands and he’s biting his lip as Vic gets up to give him a quick hug.

“Nice to meet you…”

“Aaron,” he smiles at her.

“I’m Vic, Robert’s sister,” she looks over at him. A cheeky grin on her face. “I’ve just come by to see who he ditched me and his best friend for last night.”

“There wasn’t anyone,” Robert says quickly. Looks up at Aaron, hopes he believes him.

“There’s always someone with you,” Vic laughs. “Come on spill, you’ve never been shy before.”

“She’s right you know,” Jimmy speaks up in between mouthfuls of sponge. “You love to tell us who you’ve whipped off their feet usually. He’s a right show off,” Jimmy winks at Robert. “I don’t see the attraction really.”

“I’d stop talking now Jimmy,” Robert says a little to firmly, clearly not seeing the funny side and noticing the way Aaron’s face has fallen.

“Oi, you leave my brother alone.” Vic says mockingly, rubbing her brother’s shoulder as if Jimmy’s words would have bruised his ego.

All Robert can focus on his Aaron, though. Needs to get him on his own, reassure him that there’s nobody else, that he doesn’t want anybody else. Not now.

Jimmy chuckles to himself, and wipes the crumbs off his t-shirt. “Did they turn out to be a bit of a creep, is that why you can’t tell us?”

Vic shakes her head at him, before grabbing a cupcake for herself and taking a bite. Waits for Robert to answer.

“I just went home early, I wasn’t feeling too good.” Robert’s still looking at Aaron, can see the uncertainty behind his eyes that nobody else seems to notice.

“Hmm, I still don’t believe you.” Vic watches her brother suspiciously. “Aaron, tell him that just because he’s turned 40 it doesn’t mean he should stop looking for dates.”

“Vic, seriously- “

“No, she’s right. What’s stopping you? Get out there,” he smiles tightly. His eyes barely focusing on Robert before he takes a cupcake out of kindness and nods at Vic. “Nice to meet you, and thanks for this.” He lifts the cupcake up before spinning on his heel and heading over to Carly.

Robert watches him, hates that he won’t acknowledge him. His chest tightens at the sight of Aaron’s hand resting on the bottom of Carly’s back. Hates to see Aaron put his guard back up, to see him distance himself and put on a pretence for everyone.

“He seems nice,” Vic drags Robert’s attention back to her momentarily.

“Yeah, he is.”

**Aaron**

It isn’t long before Robert’s following Aaron into the toilets and cornering him. Pulling him by his arm to face and look at him. “Will you just listen to me?” Robert pleads. “I didn’t do anything with anyone, I swear it.”

Aaron pretends to act indifferent, a shrug to his shoulders. “You can do what you like, mate.”

“Don’t be like this,” Robert sighs. “We’ve been good. Aaron, I don’t want anybody else.”

“Until you get bored of me,” Aaron talks to the floor.

“That won’t happen,” Robert reaches out to him, but Aaron steps away from his touch like it would burn.

“You don’t know that, and it seems you aren’t one for staying around after you’ve had your fun.”

“That was before!” Robert says desperately. Frustrated at Vic, Jimmy and most importantly, himself.

“Before what?” Aaron finally looks up at him.

“Before you. You’re changing everything Aaron, and it’s scaring the shit out of me.”

Aaron’s eyes light up, if nothing else. Robert goes to touch him again and this time Aaron doesn’t back away, Robert’s thumb strokes across his knuckles.

“So, you didn’t meet anybody last night?”

Robert shakes his head. “I went straight back home, and thought about you.” Robert pulls Aaron into him. “I don’t want anybody else, okay?”

“Your friends and sister seem desperate to set you up with somebody,” Aaron talks at Robert’s chest.

“I’m already _set up_ with somebody,” Robert smiles.

“Yeah. In secret,” Aaron sighs. “I can’t expect you to hide this away, Robert. Not when your friends know you deserve to be openly with someone.”

“There’s no rush, remember? I’m happy with the way things are,” Robert places a kiss to Aaron’s hair. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I promise- “

Robert quietens him with a kiss. Doesn’t want promises made. Just needs Aaron to know that for now, what they have, is more than enough and Robert doesn’t want or need anything more.

**Robert**

That night they go to a quiet restaurant just outside town, they keep their distance, but Robert can’t help but hide his arm under the table to lean over and touch Aaron on his thigh, give it a quick squeeze for reassurance.

Aaron looks relaxed, his doubts from earlier seeming to have being washed away by Robert’s words earlier on.

“It’s all posh stuff in here,” Aaron looks through the menu. “And ridiculously expensive.”

“It’s my treat,” Robert reminds him with a smirk. “I’ll order us the Promme puree,” Robert places the menu back on to the table.”

Aaron licks his lips, Robert’s gone for the option he knows he’ll most likely want. The ingredients including stuff he’s heard of.

It turns out to be a good choice, they eat in comfortable silence and have dessert after.

When they leave, Robert can’t help himself. His arms come up and wrap around Aaron’s waist, his lips caressing the skin at his neck.

A sigh leaves Aaron’s lips and his fingers curl into Robert’s shoulder to steady himself. “Come back to mine,” Aaron’s voice is breathy.

Robert pulls back slightly, a small frown. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” Aaron leans in to kiss him, the moment taking over him.

Aaron’s place is how Robert had expected it to be. Big, spacey, but still Aaron. Robert doesn’t get much chance to look around, Aaron dragging him up the stairs and into his bedroom.

**Dexter**

Aaron’s bombarded with messages and phone calls when he wakes up, he leaves Robert a note saying he’s had to leave early, that there’s food in the fridge if he wants breakfast.

Dexter’s face is like thunder when Aaron arrives at his office. He bounces back and forth on his chair, a slight shake to his head when Aaron sits down on the chair facing him.

“What’s wrong?” Aaron asks oblivious.

Dexter spins his laptop around to face Aaron. Photos of last night. Him and Robert all up and close, Robert’s face hidden into Aaron’s neck.

Aaron’s body stiffens, doesn’t understand any of it. How could he have been caught _again?_

“When are you going to learn?” Dexter huffs. “We can’t keep going through this.”

“I was careful. I went out of town like you said to,” Aaron’s rambling and he just doesn’t understand any of it. “It doesn’t make sense.”

“Whoever he is, you need to put a stop to it.” Dexter’s voice is nothing but firm. “If anything else gets out to the papers, your career could be over.”

Aaron shakes his head. “I don’t want to end it. I can’t.”

The thought of being without Robert now isn’t worth thinking about.

“You can. What about that pretty young girl who likes you?” Dexter closes the laptop screen. “For your own good Aaron, you need to end this.”

Aaron doesn’t have the energy or fight to say anything back. Instead, he gets to his feet and storms out of the office, tears filling his eyes.

With Dexter now alone, he makes the phone call, standing to look out of the windows and down to the city centre.

He smirks when the voice comes through from the other end. “You did good last night,” Dexter says smugly. “I think Aaron’s finally learning.” Dexter sits back down into his chair, his feet resting on the table. “Meet me later and I’ll pay you what I owe you.”

Dexter hangs up, and lifts the laptop back up to look at the photos. He knew it would only be a matter of time before the young lad messed up again.

It was now, that Aaron would realise he needed Dexter more than anyone else.

Dexter would give Aaron time to come around before reaching out to him again, put on that fake concern for Aaron he had learnt so well.

Dexter saved the photos on to his USB device before deleting the photos. This time, he wouldn’t let the papers have the photos like he had done the times before. If he was going to have this his way, Aaron needed to believe Dexter wanted the best for him.

For now, he just had to sit back and wait.

**Author's Note:**

> So I had a wobble, and deleted this. But here I am, after a talk with a few friends I’ve decided to give it another go because I do enjoy writing.   
> I hope you enjoy 
> 
> Come and say hi on tumblr @blondhairedking :)


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